sign up for weekly ANTI NEWS bulletins






Swing Dude Howard McFee of Chillicothe Ohio, is switching his vote for president back to Mitt Romney today, after deciding on President Obama 27 minutes ago, after changing his mind from Mitt Romney 43 minutes before that.

"Well this morning gas prices were down to $3.89 per gallon. I was like woo-hoo! The president's a man of the people! He's got my vote... But I waited until lunch, and wouldn't you know it - the bastards jacked the price back up to $4.21. Who is this socialist clown in the White House? I'm casting my vote for Romney!

After lunch, Howard watched the news, and was captivated by a story about a series of drone strikes in Pakistan that took out some Al Qaida militants."Obama's tough on terrorism. He killed Bin Laden last year. I feel safer now. Obama's got my vote!"

But later that day, president Obama came out in favor of gay marriage. Swing Dude Howard McFee was pissed. "And throw the sacred institution of marriage in the garbage can? Obama's turning this country into a haven for heathens! At least Romney stands for traditional marriage. Obama's a one term president if you ask me."

Then at 2:41 PM, Howard McFee got a job.

"The economy's strong! I got cash in my pocket. My kids can eat. This president is looking out for the little guy. I'm pulling the lever for Obama this fall! "

At 4:14 PM, Howard lost his job.

"I told you so. Obama wants to destroy America! Mitt's my man!"

At 5:02 PM Howard got re-hired, and promoted to manager.

"Four more years! Four more years!", exclaimed an ecstatic Howard McFee.

Howard watched some of the debates Wednesday night. 20 minutes in, Mitt Romney puffed his chest out, wagged his finger, and lied with confidence. "He looked strong, and manly. I'm voting for Mitt now."

Ohio is a closely contested razor thin battleground state. If it comes down to one vote, Howard McFee could very well decide the fate of the country, the planet, and the course of history for thousands of years to come.

At 6:31 PM, Mitt Romney stopped by in Chillicothe for a beer at the local sports bar. And Swing Dude Howard McFee was there. "I was impressed by his workmanlike demeanor. He had his shirt sleeves rolled up, and he drank beer out of a can! Mitt for prez!!"

President Obama is scheduled to stop by in Chillicothe, Ohio at 7:41 PM for some backslapping and a round of touch football. So for now, Swing Dude remains undecided.




sign up for weekly ANTI NEWS bulletins!
For Email Newsletters you can trustt