A suicide bomber struck a Baghdad marketplace yesterday, killing at least 50 and wounding hundreds. That same day, Jasmine Wellworth of Sherman Oaks, CA lost her lipstick, sending shockwaves throughout her gated community. Jasmine realized the full impact of her catastrophic loss when she was en route to her yoga class.
"It's hard to put into words," said a clearly traumatized Jasmine Wellworth. "One minute I'm driving my Lexus SUV, listening to Katy Perry on my Bose speaker system, next minute my lipstick is gone. Gone!"
Jasmine spent at least four and a half minutes frantically searching her Sea Foam colored Lexus for the lost lipstick. "I looked in the glove compartment, the center console, even under the baby seat. If I searched any longer, I'd be late for yoga class."
Friends, family and neighbors are holding a candlelight vigil outside the Wellworth estate. Camera crews from 20 countries captured the emotional scene, broadcasting Jasmine's tragedy to a shocked and saddened world.
"I am Jasmine" is the hottest selling T-shirt and coffee mug on Amazon today. The hashtag #LostLipstick has been tweeted over 20 million times since yesterday.
Meanwhile in Baghdad, as rescue crews continued to search for survivors of the bomb blast, a series of hopeful leads turned up, buoying Jasmine's hopes of being reunited with her precious Guerlain KissKiss Gold and Diamonds lipstick.
"I hear it costs $62,000, and it's flecked with pieces of real gold," said excited reporter Jeremy Bobsmith. Jeremy and several of his colleagues waded through the carnage to get on the last plane out of Baghdad for the "I am Jasmine" celebration, set for tomorrow at Jasmine's favorite restaurant by the seashore.
When Jasmine found her Guerlain KissKiss Gold and Diamonds lipstick (half melted and wedged in the side pocket of the passenger door) cheers went up across the globe. Jasmine is now doing the talk show circuit, and will also be coming out with a best-seller book about her terrifying ordeal (soon to be a major motion picture starring Scarlett Johansson).
Earlier this morning, a typhoon slammed into Bangladesh. Estimates are at least 10,000 were killed, and the death toll is expected to rise. At the same time, Clarence Shithorn of Sarasota, FL ran out of dental floss. The situation is expected to spiral out of control. Stay tuned for minute by minute updates on "FlossGate".