After years of flying proudly at the state capitol, the Dead Puppy Flag may finally be coming down. Public outcry has been growing recently, and could soon reach a tipping point. Last week, hundreds of protesters rallied at the Capitol building, chanting "Down with the Dead Puppy Flag!"
The latest survey indicates that over 51% of the public is now against dead puppies. (up from 30% eight years ago). "There is just no place for a Dead Puppy Flag in this day and age," explained activist Wilma Thompson. "We must let go of this shameful era in our nation's history."
But the Dead Puppy Flag has deep historical roots. "Look. The flag is a symbol of pride!" said Dead Puppy Flag supporter Gilbert Braxton. "My granddaddy fought and died in the Dead Puppy War, and I ain't going to let some kneejerk liberal puppyhuggers take down this sacred flag!"
It has been over 100 years since the Dead Puppy Republic was defeated. Once a prized delicacy, as well as a chief export for the region, dead puppies were a cornerstone to the local economy.
"That's right!" said Sons of Dead Puppy Veterans founder Buford Outlaw. "Dead puppies created jobs! Dead puppies put food on our family's table! And the Dead Puppy Republic shall rise again!"
But in spite of shifting public opinion, bringing the Dead Puppy Flag down won't be so easy. The state legislature comes to session once every two years. Then, it must vote on a measure to consider the notion of preparing to prepare to bring the bill to sub-committee. If it gets that far, it will then go on a three-year waiting list for approval, where the Dead Puppy Lobby will most likely shoot it down. "We will prevail!" exclaimed Live-Puppy activist Norma Jenkins. "Even if it takes one hundred more years!"
But this is only the beginning. Protesters are calling for the removal of the Dead Puppy Statue in front of the Courthouse building. And Dead Puppy General Maxwell Tittiehorn may soon come down from his pedestal in the city park.
What's next? Is the neighboring state, residents want The Exploding Head Flag gone from their public schools. And further south, the Mangled Granny Flag may soon end up in a museum. Local geezer Jackson Hubert was outraged. "It's getting so you can't celebrate atrocities anymore!"
||Anti News ©2015 Chris Hume