*Students at the University of Texas at Austin are protesting a new law that will allow more guns on campus.
Instead of signs, the students are protesting by "strapping gigantic swinging dildos to our backpacks," which is in violation of the campus' obscenity policy. Jessica Jin, who set up the Campus (DILDO) Carry event on Facebook, invokes the argument that allowing more guns on campus will make students safe is a dangerous and slippery slope. She's urging students to send campus leaders that message by strapping on the plastic phalluses.
"You're carrying a gun to class? Yeah, well, I'm carrying a HUGE DILDO," Jin says in the group's description. "Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play." Hashtag: CocksNotGlocks".
Gov. Greg Abbott signed Senate Bill 11, the campus carry law, in June. Starting in August 2016, the law will allow properly-licensed firearms owners to carry concealed handguns into most buildings on campus.
The State of Texas has decided that it is not at all obnoxious to allow deadly concealed weapons in classrooms, however it DOES have strict rules about free sexual expression, to protect your innocence. You would receive a citation for taking a DILDO to class before you would get in trouble for taking a gun to class. Heaven forbid the penis.
In her Facebook post, Jin quoted University of Texas rules that do clearly prohibit expressing "obscenity" on campus to emphasize why dildos were a logical choice to display objections to the campus carry law. Jin ended on a helpful note: "I know that quality dildos, especially super large ones, can be a little pricey. If we can gather enough willing participants, I will personally take it upon myself to put in the time and legwork to find a dildo supplier sponsorship."
It isn't clear yet if citizens will be required to get a background check in order to legally possess and operate a dildo. The NDA (National Dildo Association) has pushed back. "Don't trample our freedoms!" complained dildo enthusiast Paul Kruger. We don't need no stinking background checks to tell us where to put our dildos!"
But Karen Whiffen of Common Sense Dildo Laws is trying to tone down the fear. "The notion that the government is going to sneak into our bedrooms and take away our dildos is a complete fallacy."
This year so far, there have been no violent dildo attacks in public. However, Texas lawmakers are still opposed to changing any laws regarding the open carrying and use of dildos. But dildo rights advocate Tracy Hamwood believes that more dildos in public would create a stronger, safer America. "Dildos save lives" she explains. "A large enough dildo could stop a bullet during a school shooting."