Republicans forgot to flush. They also left the seat up. They left the fridge door open. They left the faucet running. They left the stove on. They left the air conditioning on. They left the heat on. They left the TV on. They left the lights on. They didn't wipe their feet. They didn't unclog the drain. They ate all the cookies. They drank all the milk. They left their whiskers in the sink. They left poop stains on the floor. They left the engine on. They left the gun in the crib. They left the safety off. 
They forgot to lock the door. They forgot to take out the trash. They forgot to feed the dog. They forgot to water the lawn. They forgot to wash the dishes. They forgot to pay the rent. They burned the pizza. They melted the ice cream. They threw their diapers out the car window. They broke the china. They overcooked the pasta. They undercooked the fish. They used all the ice cubes. They bounced all the checks. They smoked all the weed. They used all the toilet paper...and didn't replace it. 
They got into the express check-out with 250 items in their cart. They drove in the carpool lane, because they're pregnant. They parked in the handicap spot, because it's closer to the gym. They tried 30 taste-samples of frozen yogurt, without buying any. They chopped down the forest, because it ruined the view.  The drained the ocean, to make a bigger parking lot. They ordered the veal, because suffering adds to the flavor. They ordered the elephant, because it was the last one. They melted the last glacier, so they could bottle it and sell it. They shot the last zebra, because it was a tax write-off. They chopped down the last apple tree, so they could have Applewood-smoked polar bear cub for a midnight snack.­
And once again, they forgot to flush. And they left the seat up.
"Why?" said Republicans. "Because we can."


Anti News ©2017/2020 Chris Hume