3

 

ogacenter.com

 

 

 

 

   

 

BREAKING ANTI NEWS:
OFFICIAL 2017 LIST OF WORDS & PHRASES SLATED FOR DEMOLITION

 

 
 


The following is 2017's official list of words and phrases that will have to be dropped from the English language. They have become obsolete because they have been used to death, or now they just mean something else. Some of them have strayed so far from their original definitions, they now mean the exact opposite. Either way, they have to go. Here are the condemned words and phrases, accompanied by their current definitions:
 
1. I understand your frustration.
ACTUAL MEANING: I have no idea what frustrates you. Nor do I care.

2. I'm sorry you feel that way.
ACTUAL MEANING: I couldn't be further from sorry. Loser.

3. It's not a matter of "if" but "when".
ACTUAL MEANING: We're basically fucked. 

4. My bad.
ACTUAL MEANING: I did something horrible. But I'm cute. 

5. No worries.
ACTUAL MEANING: Panic. Now. 

6. Boss.
ACTUAL MEANING: (pejorative) Privileged white asshole.  

7. Can I help you?
ACTUAL MEANING: Get out of here before I call the police. 

8. Sir?
ACTUAL MEANING: Boy? 

9. We need to talk.
ACTUAL MEANING: I'm going to liquefy you. Then feed you to the sharks.

10. It's like, you know.
ACTUAL MEANING: Place-holder while your brain finds traction.

11. Awesome.
ACTUAL MEANING: Fine. Meh.

12. God Bless America.
ACTUAL MEANING: ... and no place else. 

13. Pro-life.
ACTUAL MEANING: Women are vessels.  

14. Here we go.
ACTUAL MEANING: Opening salvo to verbal combat.

15. Let's play it by ear.
ACTUAL MEANING: Let's avoid the topic until later.

16. Do we like that?
ACTUAL MEANING: I don't like that, but I'm too cowardly to admit it. 

17. States Rights.
ACTUAL MEANING: Bring back slavery.  

18. This call will be recorded for your security.
ACTUAL MEANING: This call will be recorded for OUR security.
In case you go ape shit on us. Then we can arrest you.  
 
19. No Offense.
ACTUAL MEANING: Prepare to be offended.

20. With all due respect.
ACTUAL MEANING: With all due disrespect. 
     
21. We appreciate your patience.
ACTUAL MEANING: We're golfing. Shut up and wait.   
   
 
 
Anti News ©2017 Chris Hume