Ten years ago, Hollywood officially ran out of ideas. But that didn’t stop the industry from squeezing out another decade of remakes and reboots, and remakes of reboots. And sequels of remakes of reboots.

After running on fumes, then even running out of fumes, Hollywood finally ran out of running out of ideas. It slurped its way to the bottom of the barrel, then it continued to slurp until it sucked in the whole barrel.

“We’ve got at least 20 more years until the public figures it out,” said used-movie producer Stool Sampleton. “Until then we’ll just keep recycling recycled product.”

The latest multi-billion dollar blockbuster, an animated remake of the video game adaptation of the live action remake of the animated classic film “The Lion King”, is re-re-releasing this summer. “It’s a three-cycled reboot!” exclaimed Clarence Honk, winner of the Oscar for Best Unoriginal Screenplay, “Next year we're going to pirate a used VHS copy of "The Little Mermaid" from ourselves and release it in 10,000 theatres."

Later this year, get ready for “Avengers: Requiem for the Terminus of the Ultimate Final End Game We Really Mean It This Time 2”. The overpaid superheroes will be wearing different colored tights. That’s it.

But some movie fans are getting tired of Hollywood’s “Reboot-a-palooza”. “It’s like drinking your own pee,” explained jaded critic Howard Hateman. “You can re-guzzle it a few more times and still extract some remaining nutrients, until eventually you’re left with a crystallized orange sludge.”

And so Hollywood has run out of running out ideas. “Maybe we could make a reality show about ourselves running out of ideas!” said an excited Stool Sampleton. “And if it makes any money, we can re-make it and re-boot it and re-package it and re-brand it and re-release it until the end of time.”

Anti News ©2019 Chris Hume