(According to racists)



America’s racists agree: calling a racist a racist is racist. America’s bigots agree: calling a bigot a bigot is bigotry. In fact, calling an asshole an asshole is assholic. And telling a scumbag he’s a scumbag is pure scumbaggery.

So, don’t insult the insultables. Don’t deplore the deplorables. Don’t ignore the ignorables. Don’t intolerate the intolerables. Give ignorance a chance!

“We’re under attack!” says career racist Joebub Slawkins. “We’ve endured years of finger pointing and persecution. Please take your tolerance boots off our backs!”

The Center For Intolerance released a chart showing a steep rise in hate against those who commit hate crimes.  “More discriminators were discriminated against last year than in the last 20 years combined,” explained Deputy Hate Secretary Clarence Blabberstash.

The backlash against racism has affected local economies. In many racist communities, unemployment is up.

“We’re just trying to live our lives by making other people’s lives unlivable,” said hard working bigot Kevin Schnootz. “Attacking minorities is an American tradition. Got a problem with that? Leave!”

But not everyone sees racists being called out as racists as racist. “You people have been marginalizing decent Americans for centuries,” explained anti-racist Brenda Teal. “You people deserve what’s coming to you.”

“You people???” howled offended racist Bull Strongman. “You people? How DARE you call us 'people'! Next thing, you’ll be marching us racists all into death camps!”

Racists are planning a Million Racist March on Washington next month. The president will be backing them up with tanks and air cover.

So, don’t call a racist a racist. But racists can call themselves racists. “Yo, racist what’s up!” “Same old, same old, bigot!”

Anti News ©2019 Chris Hume