How satisfied were you with your experience? Did you:
(A)  Love it?
(B)  Adore it?
(C)  Crave it and want more?

Was your experience:
(A)  Simply awesome?
(B)  Incredibly Fantastic?
(C)  Pleasing and gratifying?

Did your customer care therapist knock it out of the park?
(A)  Yes!
(B)  Totally!
(C)  Grand Slam!!!!

If you had to go through this experience again would you:
(A)  go through it again?
(B)  go through it again?
(C)  go through it again?

If swarms of carnivorous wasps attacked you in your sleep, how would you feel?
(A)  Terrific, I couldn’t get enough
(B)  Thrilled and satisfied
(C)  Sexually aroused
(D)  All of the above

Do you really need that extra kidney? Or eyeball? Or brain hemisphere?
(A)  No.
(B)  Not necessary
(C)  Please scoop it out now

How many stars would give us for your awesome experience?

(A) five stars
(B) 5 stars
(C) FIVE STARS

Thank you for taking this hassle-free survey. Please send us your email address, home address, Social Security number, mother’s maiden name, favorite sexual fetish and routing number. We appreciate your input. Stand by for a knock on your front door.