Artificial Intelligence: the doomsday specter that haunts us all. Within a few years, A.I. will surpass humans, taking over the planet in a computerized tsunami of terror that will enslave us all.

Wrong. Artificial Intelligence, please step aside.

A far greater threat hangs over us. And it dwarfs Artificial Intelligence with its sheer, overwhelming dimness: Artificial Stupidity. 

“We got totally rug-pulled by this,” said surprised scientist Alvin Worlop. “All this time we predicted humanity would be out-smarted by its own brilliant creations. We never imagined humanity would be out-dumbed by it stupidest screw-ups.”

Artificial Stupidity (or A.S.) has slowly been turning our brains into moldy mayonnaise for the last thirty years. The calculator eliminated math. Television eliminated reading. The video game eliminated exercise. GPS eliminated navigation skills. Google eliminated thinking. Artificial Stupidity disguised itself as its sleeker, sexier cousin “Artificial Intelligence” and then without notice, it sneaked up and unplugged us all, in one sudden drooling avalanche of dumb.  

The theoretical point of no return, or Dumbsday Scenario, is less than five years away.

But can we stop the sprawling suicidal stampede of stupid before it’s too late? “Never over-estimate the human race,” explained stupidologist Reginald Borax. “Make no mistake. We will out-dumb dumb. And take stupidity back for ourselves.”