2020 LIST OF CONDEMNED WORDS AND PHRASES

The following is 2020's official list of words and phrases that will have to be dropped from the English language. They have become obsolete because they have been used to death, or now they just mean something else. Some of them have strayed so far from their original definitions, they now mean the exact opposite. So now they have to go. Here are the condemned words and phrases for 2019, accompanied by their actual meanings:

1. Let's table it.
ACTUAL MEANING: Let’s forget about it. Forever.

2. To "Blow Up".
ACTUAL MEANING: To get really stupidly popular overnight.

3. To "Go Viral".
ACTUAL MEANING: To get infectiously popular overnight.

4. Move the needle.
ACTUAL MEANING: To shift the collective dumbass a tiny bit.

5. No-hassle.
ACTUAL MEANING: Prepare to get the shit hassled out of you.

6. Double down.
ACTUAL MEANING: Twice the asshole in half the time.

7. For your information...
ACTUAL MEANING: Advice, with a healthy dose of patronizing domination.

8. Talking point.
ACTUAL MEANING: toxic point.

9. Shit talking.
ACTUAL MEANING: Talking on the phone while taking a dump.

10. Hoax.
ACTUAL MEANING: Reality.

11. Please take a small survey after this phone call.
ACTUAL MEANING: Please five-star me or they will feed my bones to the hogs.

12. I want to speak to your supervisor.
ACTUAL MEANING: I'm desperate and wrong, but I still want to win.

13. War On Christmas.
ACTUAL MEANING: Right wing stool sample.

14. Maskless.
ACTUAL MEANING: Brainless.

15. Cancel Culture.
ACTUAL MEANING: 21st Century pitchfork mob.

16. Whatevs.
ACTUAL MEANING: Whatever, dumbed down yet again.

17. Gluten-free.
ACTUAL MEANING: Three times the price.

18. Fuck.
ACTUAL MEANING: Once upon a time, a sex act. Then a pejorative. Now just a tired, moldering old cliché.

19. Maple Bacon Yogurt
ACTUAL MEANING: Tree puss mixed with cow lactate and smoked pig flesh.

20. Religious freedom.
ACTUAL MEANING: Fuck everyone but us.

OFFICIAL 2019 LIST OF CONDEMNED WORDS AND PHRASES