The following is 2022's official list of words and phrases that will have to be dropped from the English language. They have become obsolete because they have been used to death, or now they just mean something else. Some of them have strayed so far from their original definitions, they now mean the exact opposite. So now they have to go. Here are the condemned words and phrases for 2022, accompanied by their actual meanings:

1. Administrative Leave
ACTUAL MEANING: Paid vacation for killer cops.

2. Kindly
ACTUAL MEANING: (feel-good word) to soften you up before being robbed online.

3. Special Military Operation
ACTUAL MEANING: Rape and Pillagepalooza

4. Brick and Mortar
ACTUAL MEANING: Offline

5. In Person
ACTUAL MEANING: Offline

6. Are you threatening me?
ACTUAL MEANING: I’m threatening you.

7. Discontinue
ACTUAL MEANING: Conspiracy to rid the world of your favorite food products.

8. Upgrade
ACTUAL MEANING: Downgrade

9. Dead Heat
ACTUAL MEANING: Fabricated political tie to keep you in fits of anxiety.

10. Five Stars
ACTUAL MEANING: Online ass-kiss. Anything less is a throat punch.

11. Only One Unit Still Available
ACTUAL MEANING: Desperate Sales Lie.

12. Skyrocket
ACTUAL MEANING: From bad to worse, really, really fast.

13. Morbid
ACTUAL MEANING: Fat and wealthy. As in “morbidly obese” or “morbidly rich”.

14. Baby Bump
ACTUAL MEANING: Earth Tumor

15. Authentic
ACTUAL MEANING: Feel-good word to make you feel authentic. (Discontinued)

16. Organic
ACTUAL MEANING: Feel-good word to make you spend more. (Discontinued)

17. Camera
ACTUAL MEANING: Phone

18. World Atlas
ACTUAL MEANING: Phone

19. Shit Show
ACTUAL MEANING: Pretty much everything, which renders the phrase useless.

20. Hearts and Minds
ACTUAL MEANING: Bombs and Missiles.

21. Happy New Year
ACTUAL MEANING: Fuck This Past Year. Let's move on.