Beth Cleghorn, teenage mother of seven, was ecstatic at the news: one of her unborn twins is pregnant! Doctors delivered the miraculous news to her upon examining an ultrasound. They enhanced the image, finding a small spot inside one of her unborn bundles of joy. When magnified tenfold, they saw a tiny little fetus growing within the fetus!

Beth has a brand new condition known as "nesting doll" syndrome. Massive doses of fertility drugs and hormones, a big trend now among parents who want huge families, have resulted in the first ever pregnant fetus.

Pastor Glenwad Shelby of The Personhood Institute was thrilled. "This could make up for the tragic drop in teen birth rates." Throngs of jubilant Fetus Fanatics have set up a vigil in front of Beth's house in suburban Hawgsville. "God has sent us a miracle within a miracle!" exclaimed an excited teenage grandmother in the crowd.

Beth's unborn twins, Kevin and Mary, are each about the size of a grain of rice. But they're taking backstage to the teensy weensy granddaughter, Gloria, gestating within little Mary. Tiny Gloria has already received thousands of dollars in disposable diapers, baby toys, and even a Dodge Durango - as tribute gifts from her countless fans. She also has a Twitter account and a Youtube channel.

"Our baby's baby deserves only the best", said Beth. We are carving a crib out of the last remaining redwood tree in California, and upholstering the pillows with whale skin. Beth's husband Chad has already registered little Gloria in the NRA. "I don't even know if they make assault rifles that small", he chuckled. "But our precious miracle has God-given rights, and she will stand her ground!"

Beth will deliver her children and grandchild, all at once. And the world will be watching. The new reality show, "Fetal Moms", is expected to be a monster hit, and is sure to encourage millions of new babies to be born pregnant. "Why wait a whole generation to be a grandmother?" said Secretary of Poverty Rich Billions.

Some physicians are concerned about the use of increasingly aggressive fertility drugs. Powerful new hormones are allowing puberty to start earlier and earlier in our children. In fact, new evidence shows little twin brother Kevin may have knocked up little Mary in utero, only hours after their own conception. A new record for early-onset puberty. And tiny Gloria is their love child.

But soon-to-be grandmother Beth is unfazed. "My babies will just have to get married, and raise Gloria themselves. Praise the Lord."


Anti News ©2018 Chris Hume