Dennis Rodman, the tattooed, multi-pierced former NBA star, was executed today after he accidentally defeated the North Korean basketball team. "This is an unspeakable outrage!" declared King Jong Un, North Korea's leader (and Rodman's former best friend). "No one dares to disgrace North Korea by defeating its basketball team!"

Rodman apologized after the game, explaining that 'he did everything in his power to lose'. But when he went for a rim shot, the ball slipped from his hand and accidentally went through the hoop. The final score: Dennis Rodman 112, North Korea, 110. North Korean soldiers immediately detained Mr. Rodman. He was publicly humiliated on state TV, and then vaporized by a squadron of North Korean fighter jets.

"He was my buddy", said Kim, an avid basketball fan and ruthless villain. "I will miss him greatly. But he committed an unforgivable crime against the state. And so, he must learn a lesson."

Dennis Rodman had made several trips to the reclusive regime, raising eyebrows around the world. Brushing off accusations of 'sucking up to the enemy' Rodman explained that his visits were in the name of sports and good will. But Rodman's and Kim's 'bromance' ended swiftly with the execution of the dictator's 'friend for life'.

The NBA condemned North Korea's execution of Dennis Rodman, calling it unsportsmanlike, and cowardly.

"I'm not a sore loser", yelled Kim. "I just don't allow anyone to beat me." Kim then re-shaved the sides of his head, and promptly executed everyone who didn't get on their knees and compliment his villainous hairdo.

Dennis Rodman's final words were tweeted into the blogosphere, where they went viral: "I made a grave error", said Rodman, before he was executed. "I have dishonored the great Korean People's Basketball team. For that, I deserve death. If I reincarnate as me again, I promise always to lose to North Korea, and by a large point spread."

Shortly afterwards, the North Korean basketball team was also executed for being defeated by Dennis Rodman.


Anti News ©2014 Chris Hume

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