It's a controversial move that is certain to enrage many. A Texas charity organization plans to raise funds to protect children - by hunting down and shooting a child. "This is a disgrace!" exclaimed single mother Angela Cooper. "Who would hunt down a poor defenseless child for any reason at all? It's barbaric!"
But Tugg McNabb, CEO of Texas based "Children First!" sees it differently. "Look, we're hunting down and shooting one kid for a good cause. What's the big deal? They're not endangered or anything!" Children First! has reached out to its members as well as the general public for donations. At the end of the month, the biggest donor wins the prize: an urban safari in which the 'winner' tracks down and shoots a young human child, with the weapon(s) of his/her choice.
"I plan on winning this contest," said billionaire chemical tycoon Slather Boggs. "It's so gratifying to think I am helping millions of underprivileged children by chasing down a little tyke with a high powered rifle and sniper scope."
So far, Children First! has raised over 12 million dollars in only two weeks. Business leaders, religious leaders, politicians and hunting enthusiasts have all given generously to the noble cause of protecting children worldwide.
"I only gave 12 bucks," said trucker Jethro Kleeb. "I know it's not a lot of money, but at least I am making the world a slightly better place. And then I'll watch the Child Hunt on pay-per-view."
But activists are complaining. "Hunting children is wrong," said Darlene Aroma of DontKillChildren.com. "Why not have a bake sale, or a topless car wash? You can still raise money, but without bloodshed."
"Where's the fun in that?" said world class hunter Hank Ballsack. "If I'm going to help save the children, I should at least enjoy my 2nd Amendment rights while honing my marksmanship."
'Child Hunt' is expected to break ratings records. Little Malcolm Gromett, the 7 year-old boy chosen to be hunted down and shot, will be dressed in an easy-to-find bright orange jumpsuit. "It'll be a delightful trophy hunt!" said Children First! spokesman Stanley Sinkworth. "And millions of children will be happier for it."
"Fuck that!" said little Malcolm, as he quietly sneaked an AK-47, three hand grenades and a flamethrower under his cute orange jumpsuit. "No one's mounting my head on their stinking mantelpiece. I'll be saving underprivileged billionaires by hunting a billionaire myself!"
This is based on a real scenario.
Read 'Dallas Safari Club' article here.
Anti News ©2014 Chris Hume
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