America’s racists agree: calling a racist a racist is racist. America’s bigots agree: calling a bigot a bigot is bigotry. In fact, calling an asshole an asshole is assholic. And calling a scumbag a scumbag is pure scumbaggery.
So, don’t insult the insultables. Don’t deplore the deplorables. Don’t ignore the ignorables. Don’t intolerate the intolerables. Shitbags matter.
“We’re under attack!” says career racist Joebub Slawkins. “We’ve endured years of finger pointing and persecution. Please take your tolerance boots off our backs!”
The Center For Intolerance released a chart showing a steep rise in hate against those who commit hate crimes. “More discriminators were discriminated against last year than in the previous 20 years combined,” explained Deputy Hate Secretary Clarence Blabberstash, "we need protection from woke empathy."
In many racist communities, unemployment is up as racists lose their jobs, once they're outed as racists. “We’re just trying to live our lives by making other people’s lives unlivable,” said bigot Kevin Schnootz.
But not everyone sees racists being called out as racists as racist. “You people have been marginalizing decent Americans for centuries,” explained anti-racist Brenda Teal. “You people deserve what’s coming to you.”
“'You people???'” howled offended racist Bull Strongman. “How DARE you call us 'people'! Next thing, you’ll be marching us all into death camps!”
Congress officially declared October 14 as "Racist Day." Schoolchildren will be required to give "Happy Racist Day" cards to each other and tell at least 3 racist jokes. And next month, Racists are planning a Million Racist March on Washington. The president will be backing them up with tanks and air cover.
So, don’t call a racist a racist. That would make you a racist. But racists can call each other racists: “Yo, racist what’s up!” “Same old, same old, bigot!”
