The president, unable to get the legal funding to build his wall, has resorted to alternative measures to complete his pet project. “Liberals won’t give me the steel and concrete to finish my magnificent wall,” he proclaimed, “so I’ll build it… out of Americans.”

The staggering death toll from the pandemic has provided the White House with an enormous surplus of construction material. “The corpse-wall will create jobs, and boost the economy,” said Secretary of Disease Howard Blimpworth, “plus it will keep extreme far-left aliens with masks from sneaking into our glorious country.”

Wall Street is skyrocketing to record highs as the death toll soars. And the president’s loyalists are euphoric. “Why put ‘em in a graveyard when you can pile ‘em up into a wall?” exclaimed Glib Cowpen of Bonepile, Missouri.   

However, the decision to tap into the “Strategic Corpse Reserve” isn’t popular with everyone. “These were human beings,” said activist Alicia Valdez. “They had families and histories and dreams. You can’t just build a wall from their sacred remains.”

“Sure you can,” explained White House Sorcerer Terrence Snorklebrain. “They stack very neatly, like logs. But we only have 6 miles of wall so far. We need another 1,100 miles by Election Day. So, party on and keep dying, America!”

Each dead American will receive a shiny plastic medal with the president’s face on it. It will be mailed out to the deceased’s family with a really nice letter that includes an official stamp of the president’s signature.

We’ll be down to 0% unemployment by November,” gloated the president. “It gives new meaning to the phrase ‘Made in America.’”

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  ©2020 Anti News, Chris Hume