It’s official. The Ku Klux Klan is now too liberal for the Republican Party. After years and years of sliding deeper into the greasy crazy pit, the G.O.P overtook the K.K.K., leaving the legendary racist group in the dust on the road to Hateville.

“We had to let them go,” said G.O.P hate spokesman Biff McFuckman. “We can no longer associate ourselves with an organization who has become “soft and lenient” when it comes to hate.

According to the G.O.P. the K.K.K. only terrorizes and kills Black people. The G.O.P. plans to step it up a few notches, aiming to completely destroy their future and wipe out any trace that Black culture ever existed. “Hoods and torches and burning crosses. Child’s play,” exclaimed Clarence Tackleburg of the Jackboot Institute. “We’re playing the long game.”

But the new G.O.P. isn’t just stopping with Blacks. They plan to expand their hate parade to the four corners of their flat earth.

“If you’re a Black, gay, transgender, handicapped teenage rape victim, the K.K.K.’s only going to hate the Black part,” explained G.O.P. hate strategist Folsom Glockman, “We promise to hate every part. Equally.”

However, there is still a big fluffy welcome mat in the G.O.P., for minorities, women, gays and other marginalized groups. “We accept you into our party with open arms,” said a proud Biff McFuckman. “The only requirement is that you hate yourself.”