The following is 2023's official list of words and phrases that will have to be dropped from the English language. They have become obsolete because they have been used to death, or now they just mean something else. Some of them have strayed so far from their original definitions, they now mean the exact opposite. So now they have to go. Here are the condemned words and phrases for 2023, accompanied by their actual meanings:

1. Empower
ACTUAL MEANING: A word that has been used so much it has lost all its power.

2. I'm not perfect.
ACTUAL MEANING: I'm perfecter than you.

3. My friend
ACTUAL MEANING: My host carcass.

4. You've been chosen.
ACTUAL MEANING: We have chosen to empty your bank account.

5. Tipping Point
ACTUAL MEANING: Game Over. Kill Yourself.

6. Rock-Ribbed
ACTUAL MEANING: Stone-Skulled.

7. Magazine
ACTUAL MEANING: A thing that holds multiple bullets

8. January 6th
ACTUAL MEANING: September 11, Home Style.

9. Hero
ACTUAL MEANING: Higher Paid Than You.

10. Everything's Going to be Okay
ACTUAL MEANING: Jump Out the Window.

11. Pardon
ACTUAL MEANING: State-Sponsored Prison Break

12. Weaponize
ACTUAL MEANING: A word that makes you feel tough when you say it.

13. Vermin
ACTUAL MEANING: The vast majority of the American public.

14. Online Portal
ACTUAL MEANING: A conduit for draining your assets.

15. Loved One
ACTUAL MEANING: Corpse.

16. Happy New Year
ACTUAL MEANING: Strap yourself in and swig a valium. Here we go!