It's that time of year again. So make sure you leave room for some pumpkin pie. And a scoop of pumpkin ice cream. And a pumpkin muffin. And a pumpkin scone. And a steamy pumpkin latte, with a sprinkle of pumpkin zest on your pumpkin whipped cream. And pumpkin salad, followed by pumpkin soup with a side of pumpkin fries. But save your appetite for salted caramel pumpkin pork fritters, pumpkin salmon, pumpkin pizza and pumpkin ribeye maple bacon brownies.
Top that off with some pumpkin popcorn, pumpkin Jell-O, pumpkin McNuggets, a pumpkin milkshake, and a shot of pumpkin Red Bull.
Tonight it's pumpkin toothpaste, pumpkin dental floss, pumpkin bubble bath, and pumpkin sleeping pills.
Tomorrow morning it's pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin waffles, chased with a pumpkin smoothie and a puff of pumpkin pot. After taking a pumpkin poop, wipe with pumpkin toilet paper, and spray the stall with pumpkin air freshener.
Why stop there? Get a bag of pumpkin tortilla chips and pumpkin salsa to get you through the afternoon. Snort a line of pumpkin powder, throw back a pumpkin oyster shooter and slick back your hair with pumpkin mousse.
Complete your pumpkin lifestyle with pumpkin lipstick, pumpkin eyeliner, pumpkin fingernail polish, pumpkin shaving cream, pumpkin massage oil, and pumpkin perfume.
And it just wouldn't be Halloween without pumpkin throwing stars, pumpkin razor wire, pumpkin hand grenades and pumpkin bullets...
... Pumpkin condoms, pumpkin breast implants, pumpkin Viagra, pumpkin skin grafts, pumpkin blow-up dolls, pumpkin gasoline, pumpkin pavement, pumpkin buildings, pumpkin bridges, pumpkin highways, and flush it all out with a pumpkin enema.
Ready for Christmas?
Anti News ©2017/2023 Chris Hume