The president delivered a raucous, spittle–infused speech at a rally today in Mississippi. Thousands of devoted fans cheered him as he flailed his arms and glowered from the podium, bellowing angry sound bites. In spite of the huge turnout, nobody seemed to notice he was completely butt-naked.

“He really has a strong vision for America,” said super fan Horace Winkle, “plus his flowing lustrous ermine cape, solid gold crown and ruby studded scepter make him look totally presidential!”

His ermine cape was actually billowing flaps of blistered, pimpled flesh. But no one noticed.

The president continued to bluster and bloviate about his titanic achievements since taking office. The crowd roared with adulation.

“Our president is truly doing God’s work here on Earth,” said Zeke McNabb from the seventh row, “and he looks totally buff in that football jersey and those tight pants. I bet those shoulder pads are real muscle!”

No shoulder pads. No football jersey. Just the presidential birthday suit, in all of its sagging glory. But no one noticed.

The commander in chief brought the audience to its feet when he told them he would jail anyone who opposed or mocked him.

“Now that’s a president!” yelled mega-supporter Judy Cubesteak from the bleachers. “And he looks so dashing in that crisp military uniform with those chrome-plated epaulettes and hundreds of glistening medals.”

Sorry Judy. His uniform is just man boobs and an orange spare tire. But no one seems to notice.

The president brought the house down with a rousing speech about dark skinned aliens, and the mortal threat they pose to our great country.

“The president really hit it out of the park!” exclaimed ultra-devotee Jugg Windpipe.  “He totally rocked it with those Viking horns, that necklace of Democrat ears and that badass toga made from the skins of Mexicans who tried to breach the wall.”

And then an 8 year-old child yelled from the crowd, “Look! The president has no clothes! He’s just a naked fat body!  ”

The crowd gasped in disapproval. The child was tackled by an angry mob, led away in chains, and sold to a Saudi Prince.