Finally, a vaccine has arrived that anti-vaxxers can celebrate. Introducing VaxOff ®, the exciting new product that totally vaccinates your child against vaccines.

Simply inject a generous portion of VaxOff ® into your child. In less than 30 minutes, your little one will be immune from immunity!

“It’s the cure for all cures,” explained Vicki Valcore, Vice President of Vanquish the Vaccines, “It’s protection from protection!”

“VaxOff ® is part of my family’s balanced diet!” said blistered and sickly mother Walda Gock. “After all, chicken pox isn’t a disease. It’s a choice!

VaxOff ® is guaranteed to safeguard you and your family from the evil clutches of preventive health care. It also comes in fruity chewables, to make your child’s anti-vaccination more fun.

“I like raspberry VaxOff ® the best!” gasped 8 year-old Jill Welch, just as her throat swelled shut from some preventable disease.

Vax-Off is sure to go viral with the pro-life crowd as well as the anti-vax crowd. “Diseases are God’s children too,” said Father Joseph McLord from his deathbed, “Give Measles a chance!”

“Everyone should use VaxOff ®!” exclaimed Mumps, a nearly eradicated disease, “In a few years, I’ll be back with a vengeance!” Other diseases, including polio, smallpox and whooping cough strongly endorsed VaxOff ®. “Make America Sick Again,” declared a cheerful and bubbly Ebola.     

Why wait? Live on the edge with new VaxOff ®. Adventure is just one sneeze away!