GlobeFuckers International officially changed its logo today. The voracious worldwide logging drilling and mining giant added a delicate green leaf beneath its name. And now everything’s better.

“We’ve turned over a new leaf,” chuckled CEO Chip Thugwell. “We’ve rebranded ourselves, as a kinder, gentler globe fucker.”

From clear-cutting to strip-mining to sea-floor drilling, GlobeFuckers International made its name as the “top dog” of planetary extraction. “You might see a pretty forest. But we see the coal that lies beneath," gloated Secretary of Coal, Blimp Fossilman.

Recently, the worldwide forest fires and melting ice caps have drawn outrage from the public. Millions of protesters threatened to storm the energy empire’s headquarters. GlobeFuckers International quickly responded by adding a leaf to its logo. The next day, the angry crowds went home, satisfied.

“Our new eco-friendly-ish logo may not save the world, but it saved our ass,” said PR manager Brad Swaggerton. “We also changed our font from big, blocky and tough to a more sensitive, cursive effeminate look.”

Another corporate giant, BloodStone Enterprises, went further and changed its actual name. BloodStone Enterprises, which specializes in human trafficking, organ smuggling and elderly abuse, is now known as SoftBlossom. “We want the world to know that we sort of care,” explained SoftBlossom CEO Glock Steelburg.

“Softblossom? Whew!” said abused 85-year-old Wilma Granby. “Now I’ll feel so much better when they beat me and harvest my organs!”