A new study has revealed that there are now more celebrities in the world than there are nobodies. The astounding milestone was reached last month, when pimply underachiever Kevin Fink burned off all his hair and became an instant Youtube billionaire. From that day on, celebrities began outnumbering their followers. Once upon a time, “celebrity” was the ultimate pinnacle of excellence. One could only become a celebrity through talent, luck and hard work. Today, any basement-dwelling man-child willing to mutilate himself online can achieve stardom, and acquire millions of followers. But now, the world is running out of followers. “There are no more ‘nobodies’ left to support the celebrity economy.” says celebrity professor Mercedes McFabulous, “This has created a reverse-vanity feedback loop that could destroy the world.”   “Fame is the new normal,” says celebrity expert Chad Best, “if you’re a hyper-wealthy mega-celebrity, you’re common as dirt. But if you’re an obscure nobody living in the shadows, you’re now unique and special, which ironically, could make you famous. But how can celebrities maintain their wealth, power and exclusivity, in a world where their fan base has dwindled?  “Nobody watches anyone’s films, reads anyone’s books, or listens to anyone’s music anymore,” explains celebrity psychologist Todd Selfman, “because everyone is too busy promoting themselves. Oh, by the way, after you read this, please ‘like’ me.” Another new study has revealed there are now more yoga teachers than yoga students, more actors than filmgoers, more therapists than patients, and more hackers than victims.