The following is 2021's official list of words and phrases that will have to be dropped from the English language. They have become obsolete because they have been used to death, or now they just mean something else. Some of them have strayed so far from their original definitions, they now mean the exact opposite. So now they have to go. Here are the condemned words and phrases for 2021, accompanied by their actual meanings:

1. Duly Noted.
ACTUAL MEANING: Already Forgotten.

2. Loss Prevention.
ACTUAL MEANING: Anti-Shoplifting Body Slam Squads

3. Smart (as a prefix)
ACTUAL MEANING: Makes you feel smart while dumbing you down. Example: Smart Water. Smart Diapers.

4. Works (as a suffix)
ACTUAL MEANING: Makes silly crap sound like business. Example: UrinalPuckWorks. LazySusanWorks

5. Pull The Trigger.
ACTUAL MEANING: Let’s close our eyes, pray, panic and do this!

6. Google it.
ACTUAL MEANING: The laziest non-answer to any question. Example: "Is the Earth round?" "Google it!"

7. Woke.
ACTUAL MEANING: An evolved, thoughtful, decent, aware person (insult)

8. Bless his/her heart.
ACTUAL MEANING: What a fucking idiot!

9. Is there anything I can do for you?
ACTUAL MEANING: a dangerously insincere consolation. Ask for a billion dollars, see what happens.

10. I'm not a racist.
ACTUAL MEANING: I am a racist.

11. Anti Vaxx.
ACTUAL MEANING: Pro Corpses In The Streets.

12. The new normal
ACTUAL MEANING: complete and utter surrender to mediocrity and apocolypse.

13. Police Union.
ACTUAL MEANING: an entity that preserves violence, racism and corruption.

14. Influencer.
ACTUAL MEANING: someone who failed their way to the top, using their looks.

15. New & Improved
ACTUAL MEANING: Costlier & Shittier

16. Pay Toll Ahead,
ACTUAL MEANING: Pay Toll One Head. Most likely, yours.

Anti News ©2021 Chris Hume